just a thought

wouldnt it be cool wouldnt it be grand to watch my blood run down it my hand. i could watch and wait as the red crimson flow made all my troubles go. i could watch untill time stood still till my brain stopped in its tracks now i cant look back. everything is fuzzy now and i wonder who will miss me when i die. such a  strange strange place to be watching these men over me juch a commotion i cant understand why am i still on this land.

just like me

i know i need to keep on going.  id rather giveup the fight id rather watch the blood flow freely from my wrists fade in and out of conciousness it would be easier on everyone because i just dont belong. i rather die than be all alone even in a crouded room im alone with my thoughts my one wish would be just to find someone just like me

as

as i sit here im wondering why wmy heart is torn in so many durections. why my head feels as though it is swimming. so i think backvand wonder if there was a time when it wasnt will i ever be normal

Grab my shoulders and shake me till i come around. im stuck in my head. can someone pull me out? its a strange place to be. sometimes it hurts if i could change it i would. if i could understand it  i would change it. my head is a strange chemical spill of emotions. so much os going on in a tiny space. i wish i could be normal habe nothing but even thoughts. my heart is a blunder tossed into a blender shaken sliced/diced squished mashed i just want to befree of these chains holding me

am i a mad hatter? ?

I sit here in this rabbit hole wondering how it is that i have arrived here? This bump on my head may explain a little. But withball the strange happenings Im not quite sure that is all. when i walk i feel as though i am floating in mid airlike i need tied down. Its a good feeling. and when the strange thinga happen its all surreal. its like my brain is on over load when i stand my head spins its as though im standing still and the world is spinning around me i watch its some how magical. sometimes i dont feel like me. like im looking at me from outside ibwatch me move around and its strange. some times all inwant isbmy mommy to save me! sometimes i want no one. in thoes times my head spins watching anything for sometime. i spin really fast and cant stop. thats when i dont like my wonderland. dizzy dizzy dizzy a never ending merry go round. it sometimes makes me nautious. will i come back enlightend like alice? or will i be just another MAD HATTER?